As much as I’ve traveled over the years, I’ve had doubts about this trip. Will I have enough money? Can I make it a whole year? (It seems like not enough time one moment and too long the next.) What if I really hate volunteering? How sick will I get? (not “Will I get sick?” because I know I will). Will I be lonely? Will I get tired of meeting new people? How bad will the heat be? How bad will my Spanish be? There are so many things to worry about, but for me, that’s just part of the adventure (easy for me to write that now as I sit outside on my deck in Rhode Island on a beautiful summer night). I know from past travels that there will be a lot of frustration and challenges throughout this trip.
When my sister asked if I was excited about going to Honduras, I said, “No, I’m anxious.” And I am. I feel unprepared. But I also know that it will be worth it. Of that I am sure.
What’s really hard about this trip, and even hard to write about, is saying goodbye to my grandkids for a year. When I first thought about doing this trip I figured now was a better time since the grandkids are mostly at ages when they wouldn’t remember my being gone anyway. Yet, as my departure grows near, the doubts grow stronger and my resolve weakens. Am I being selfish by taking all this time for myself?
Ultimately, I have to focus on the positive. My grandkids have parents that love them and take good care of them. They also have other grandparents who are very much involved in their lives. They will be fine. I will be too, but I will miss them.